


obsidian

by theinvisiblestorm



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst?, F/M, Lost Memories, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4980856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinvisiblestorm/pseuds/theinvisiblestorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is hurt in a disaster and wakes up with a few memories missing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	obsidian

When he resurfaced in Sickbay, Bones told him that he’d gone comatose for three weeks. Jim remembered standing in Engineering, hearing the sound of metal screeching and groaning. He recalled Scotty running toward him, hand outstretched, then a body smashing into his, pushing him away from the object overhead, pain in his head, and then momentary loss of vision. Jim found the whole experience rattling; it made sense that he'd experience minor symptoms after almost dying, but everything felt wrong, as though there had been a variable or constant in this whole equation, and he'd forgotten it.

 

Having amnesia was quite exhausting. Somedays, Jim would sniff a phantom scent that reminded him of the color red and several unidentifiable spices and he'd feel a tidal wave of sadness without knowing why. Most of the time, he'd lose track of what he meant to say. He'd be in the middle of a sentence, and then he'd just forget. It was like everything was swimming in the back of his head, and the thoughts eluded Jim's desperate grasp. It was irrevocably frustrating. Worst of all was the lack of interest in sex. Jim would get as drunk as humanly possible, and end up feeling more sad than before. One-night stands weren't interesting enough; no one felt _right_.

 

Whenever he vocalized his concerns to Bones, the doctor would make a pained grimace like he'd tasted something sour. He'd always dismiss Jim's worries in a cautious voice, as though he didn't quite believe his own words. "Jim, you hit your head real hard. You almost died. It's normal to forget some things." But, Jim hadn't forgotten 'some things'; it felt like he'd lost a limb. So, he tried not to talk about it. There were a few memories, however, that Jim never shared with anybody.

•••

_Soft, searing hot lips brushed and bit at Jim's. Meticulous hands carded through Jim's hair as though it were spun gold and roamed his body as though it were land to be catalogued. Jim felt at home._

•••

_A familiar low-pitched voice that Jim couldn’t place. Memories slipping through his grasp like water. The moment he thought he could distinguish a memory, all traces of it evaporated._

•••

_Jim was standing on the observation deck with someone by his side. A warm, calloused hand held his as passing stars bathed the dark room in silver._

•••

_A folded, science-blue uniform lay beside his crumpled, command yellows on the foot of his bed. Incense burned, releasing a relaxing aroma. A warm hand lazily played with Jim's hair as he drifted between the realms of sleep and consciousness._

•••

"Jim!" Bones's gruff drawl barked, shaking Jim off of his train of thought.

"Yeah?"

"You need to stop getting your damn fool self into trouble. We don't have-" The doctor had abruptly cut himself off mid-sentence. "The time or the supplies to keep patchin' you together after each away mission," Bones added, swiftly, trying for subtlety. Jim pursed his lips, but let Bones keep scanning him with the dermal regenerator and lecturing him on avoiding tackling armed hostiles.

•••

It was while he was cleaning his room that Jim found it. A small, finely-carved, obsidian Knight sat on the floor beneath his bed, atop several articles of dirty laundry. The chess piece reminded of late shifts on the ship and dinners in his room. He felt something, while clutching the piece, and pocketed it without another thought.

•••

"Bones, did I play chess with anybody on the ship?" Jim couldn't see the doctor's face, but Bones's back stiffened minutely. Jim watched the doctor as he continued tending to Lieutenant Johnson. "I can't remember the last time I've played. Must've been years before the Academy."

"Yeah. You told me you played when you were younger and I offered to play with you." The doctor scoffed, "You kicked my ass, kid."

"Oh, okay.” Jim felt disappointment gather in his chest. “Thanks, Bones."

•••

Jim kept the chess piece with him. It was ridiculous, but he felt as though it were a puzzle piece or a clue. As though it held answers to the missing variable in the equation that was Jim Kirk's Life. He often found himself turning it over in his hand on the Bridge whenever he was deep in thought.

•••

"Captain, we're receiving a visual transmission from Star Fleet Command."

"Answer it, Lieutenant." The crew of the Enterprise had just completed a stressful mission on Argelius II and was long overdue for shore leave. Admiral Komack appeared onscreen. Jim shifted and sat up straight.

"Captain, we have a group of diplomats on Andor that require your services as escort to Rigel V." The Bridge immediately adopts an air of disappointment that is practically tangible. Unfortunately, the crew would not be relaxing on Risa anytime in the near future.

"Of course, Admiral. But, my crew has been working very hard and is expecting shore leave." Jim omitted the specific location for shore leave, taking into consideration the Admiral’s known disapproval of Jim.

"Kirk, your crew can have shore leave after the Enterprise escorts the diplomats." The captain nods in agreement and replies.

"Yes, Admiral." Komack immediately ends the transmission, and Kirk exhales. Command could really be a prick. Or, maybe that was just Komack.

"Sulu, set a course for Rigel V."

"Yes, sir."

•••

The Enterprise is docked and waiting to greet the boarding politicians. Personally, Kirk is never foolish enough to trust a politician. Tarsus made damn well sure of that. However, his current duty as a captain is to entertain and charm the diplomats, and that is what he'll do. He waits with Sulu--his First Officer--and Bones. Bones grumbles under his breath, as he tugs at his dress uniform. Jim laughs, but composes himself at the right moment, as the door opens. Two Tellarites, four Terrans, three Orions, five Betazoids, two Andorians, and four Vulcans board the ship. Jim personally greeted each party of ambassadors and diplomats, in the respective order. There was one Andorian that was eyeing Jim  and seemed to be flirting? There was a time when Jim might have considered hitting that, but that time was gone.

•••

As the Vulcans approached him, Jim instinctively greeted them with the traditional ta'al, as Uhura and his Xenolinguistics classes had instructed. One of the Vulcans seemed amused with Jim-his eyebrows had risen a fraction of an inch at the sight of Jim's ta'al. Another seemed less-than-impressed, and the two others looked less expressive than a slab of marble. He introduced himself, Sulu, and Bones to the Vulcans and the two stoic Vulcans left Jim after briskly introducing themselves. The other two stayed. The amused Vulcan addressed Jim, and his eyes reminded Jim of the obsidian chess piece and of nights on the observation deck. Which was ridiculous.

"Captain Kirk, I am Ambassador Selek. I am pleased to meet you," The old Vulcan bowed his head a fraction. "I am most gracious for your assistance." He was probably the most open and emotive Vulcan that Jim had ever met and somehow, he seemed familiar. Jim was caught off guard. Out of the corner of his eye, Jim noticed that the younger, more stern looking Vulcan was openly studying him.

"The Enterprise is glad to be of assistance. It's no trouble, really," Jim said, cautiously. The older, kinder Vulcan almost smiled. Jim focused on Ambassador Selek's eyes. He swallowed nervously. "Have we met before?" Jim felt McCoy immediately stiffen next to him, and the stern Vulcan adopted an air of almost-apprehension, but Selek simply smiled.

"I do not believe that we have met, Captain." He said it like it was an apology. Maybe he could see the disappointment Jim felt. Jim immediately composed himself and smiled at the other Vulcan ambassador, Ambassador Sarek.

"Captain, I understand that your crew was due for shore leave. It was quite generous of you to escort this party instead." The stern Vulcan spoke in an impassive tone, but his compliment was impressive for a Vulcan. The fact that a Vulcan said the word, ‘party’ made Jim smile.

"Truthfully, we have been waiting for a bit of relaxation, it helps with the crew's morale. But, we were promised shore leave after we escorted you guys. Honestly, it's a pleasure to be able to help. And, if anybody has any requests or questions, feel free to alert me or my First Officer," Sulu nodded to indicate his acknowledgement as Jim gestured to him. "If that's all, I'll be off to work and whatnot." The Vulcans both nodded, and turned around to join the party of politicians.

"C'mon, Jim." Bones said, quietly, pulling Jim's attention away from the retreating Vulcans as the three men headed back to duty.

•••

 

 


End file.
